Satire desk: This staff profile describes a fictional journalist in a parody newsroom. The profile, quote, relationships, and article archive are satire, parody, and fiction.
DP

Health

Diane Polk

Health Reporter

A former emergency nurse who writes White House health stories with the directness of a triage note.

"I do not give opinions. I give assessments."

Articles By Diane Polk

Newsroom Notes

AF DP

Anita and Diane: The Science-Medicine Divide

Anita covers research and methodology. Diane covers applied clinical outcomes. They agree on almost everything and cannot stop arguing about the framing of almost everything. Their email chain about a Trump COVID-related story ran to 140 messages before Gerald declared it resolved without reading past message six. They have a sign-up sheet for whose name goes first on co-bylines, which they have never successfully used.