Culture

A Fashion Review Of The March: The First Menace In History Dressed By A Returns Department

Simone Delacroix reviews the khakis, the gaiters, and the indoor sunglasses, and finds an outfit that confesses everything its wearers will not.

By Simone Delacroix Culture desk 5 min read
A department store mannequin on a runway wearing khakis, a navy shirt, a white face gaiter, and sunglasses, under the headline the coward collection.
The collection is available wherever returns are accepted.

Every uniform is a confession. The beret confesses romance. The leather jacket confesses hope. The khaki-and-gaiter ensemble that marched through Washington on Saturday confesses the following: we would like to end the republic, and we would also like to be back at our desks Monday without anyone mentioning it in the elevator.

Begin with the khaki. Khaki is not a fascist color. Khaki is the color of golf lessons, of orientation day, of a man about to explain a rewards program. History's villains understood tailoring, which is part of what made them frightening. This collection is what happens when the villain would also like to remain eligible for a car loan.

"The mask is the centerpiece of the collection, and it is a white gaiter, which is to say: the face equivalent of khaki." Simone Delacroix

The Thread

Follow the thread. Every previous movement of this kind dressed to be seen; the entire point of a uniform is to announce allegiance in daylight. This is the first one that dressed to be deniable. Their predecessors wanted witnesses. These men want an alibi for Thanksgiving. That is not a movement. That is a bachelor party with a manifesto.

The sunglasses must also be addressed, because the march descended into the Metro wearing them. Sunglasses underground are not protection from glare. They are protection from eye contact, which the collection cannot survive, eye contact being the one accessory that requires a self.

Jean-Pierre once wrote to me that confidence does not tenderize a steak. He was right, and the principle generalizes: a gaiter does not tenderize an ideology. If your beliefs cannot survive your own face, the collection is not ready for the runway. The runway in question was a public street between two train stations, and the reviews are in.

Fashion's oldest rule holds. Wear the clothes; do not let the clothes wear you. On Saturday, four hundred men were worn by their khakis down an escalator and home. The collection is available wherever returns are accepted. It will be returned.

Culture note: The steak discourse remains open and is unrelated. Simone was clear about the difference and is available to be clearer.