Infrastructure

Ribbon Cutting Credits Trump For Scissors Looking Sharp

The blades never touched the ribbon. Officials say that is exactly what made the moment work.

By Buck Ledger Filed from the second row of folding chairs 3 min read
Giant ceremonial scissors closing on empty air above a red ribbon already parted and tagged pre-scored at nine a.m., under a banner reading scissors looked sharp.
The blades closed two inches to the left of a ribbon that had already agreed to part.

Organizers of a bridge dedication credited the President on Thursday for how sharp the ceremonial scissors looked, a distinction the scissors accepted without cutting anything.

The ribbon had been pre-scored that morning by a member of the maintenance staff, as is standard, so that the ribbon parts on contact rather than resisting on camera. The scissors closed on air approximately two inches to the left. Attendees applauded for eleven seconds.

"A lesser ceremony asks whether the blades made contact. A confident one asks whether the room believed they did."

In a statement, the ribbon conceded it had been leaning toward parting anyway and said it did not wish to take anything away from the blades. Aides described this as the ribbon showing class.

A rival groundbreaking held the same afternoon used a shovel and a smaller pair of scissors that one attendee described as safety scissors, and it showed. This desk has no further questions about which ceremony looked more presidential, and neither, apparently, does the ribbon.